How a Soldier Found Real Peace

I have now been a Christian for over half my life. It is, and always has been, my prayer that I never grow "used" to being saved or take it for granted. What a joy it has been to know sins forgiven and not being scared to meet God, for it was not always that way.

I was raised in a God-fearing home by wonderful parents who devoted themselves to their children, and reap the benefits of that today, in that we love to be around them at every opportunity. At an early age, I had a knowledge of God and took it very seriously. At the age of 12, I remember asking my Dad why Jesus died on the cross. I couldn’t understand the concept. I figured He died so terrible a death so we wouldn’t forget He existed. In my early teens, I started questioning the things I had learned in Sunday school. The opinions of the world were starting to take effect on me and doubt as to the existence of God started creeping in. Because of my upbringing, I evaded serious thought of God because I was scared I would come to the conclusion He did not exist. I actually wanted to believe in Him but was scared to search Him out for fear that He may not be there. So instead of dealing with the matter, I took to the ways of the world which were self-satisfaction at any cost. By the time I joined the army in 1973, I already had a drinking problem. The military made it easy for me to get even deeper into drinking. I had been drinking since the age of 14 and by age 20, I was getting disillusioned with my life.

In October of 1973, the Yom Kippur war broke out in the Middle East, and on November 11th, Canada sent peace keepers there of which I was one. I now found myself in the land of the God I was running from. The greatest scare I had there was not from guns or bombs but from the Lord, or so I thought. I was on leave in Jerusalem and taking a Holy Land tour. I found myself in Pilate’s Judgment hall in a room by myself and it was dark. I sensed someone staring at me from behind, so as my eyes got used to the dark I turned around to see Jesus staring at me. The fear was so great that it took about 15 seconds for me to calm down enough to realize it was a statue - a lifelike statue, but still a statue. I will never forget those eyes even though they were glass. I realized more than ever that I was scared to meet God (if He existed).

I was there for about 7 months, and about 2 months before I returned to Canada, a friend gave me a prophesy book saying, "Look at this book Spider; It’s all about this place". It was "The Late Great Planet Earth" by Hal Lindsay. In it, I read about the last days and was attracted to the writings like never before. Upon returning to Canada, a visit to the "Logos" book store in Kingston, Ontario, became a weekly event. Any books with the pictures of newspapers on them attracted me as I wanted to find out more about the last days. I skipped over all scripture in these books, which told me how to escape judgment as I never feared judgment at this point. However, the Spirit of God was starting to change that!

I had met my wife Georgina while in basic training, and in 1975, we were married. At my wedding, I borrowed the car of my cousin, Bruce Smith, who had gotten saved years earlier and was now in fellowship in an Assembly in Halifax. I used to joke about it and even make fun of him while drinking with my relatives. However; when he brought the car to my house to borrow, I went to shake his hand and thank him but made the mistake of looking into his eyes. What I saw I will never forget. I saw peace and joy like I had never seen before, and it cut deep. Bruce and his wife never stayed long at our wedding reception, but I’m sure he prayed for "Dougie and his new wife" when he went home.

My wife was an atheist and teased me about my interest in the things of God. She challenged me to His existence in a way that I had to come to a conclusion. How I anguished over it. If there was a God, then there was nothing else that mattered other than knowing Him I reasoned. If there was a God, then my way of life would have to change. But how could I change? I was addicted to drinking and partying. How could I change? Finally, in 1976, after much soul searching, I realized I did believe in God. Now my problems began. Nights were sleepless as I realized there was a God to meet someday. I needed to change and fast, but how? I figured I would just wait until I was 40 and then I could see myself rocking in a chair on a sun porch, and if a pretty girl walked by, it wouldn’t bother me. (why 40, I don’t know. Maybe because it seemed so far away).

So knowing I couldn’t or wouldn’t change, I drank even more trying to get it out of my mind. Finally, during a night of drinking, a friends wife said she had to go home early as she wanted to go to church the next day, it being Sunday. I asked if I could go with her and we agreed to go. Upon hearing this, Georgina approached me a little later and said if I was going to church, I was going with "her" not someone else’s wife. So the next morning, up we got and to "church" we went. It wasn’t a Bible believing church, but the reading that morning was Luke 15 , the prodigal son. Well, the Bible might as well have jumped up and slapped me that day. For the first time in my life, God had reached me with His Word and how it hurt and convicted. That night, I anguished again over my fear of meeting God. I had to settle it once and for all. How could I get peace with God? I thought it out like a little child. I thought of the phrase, "Jesus died for me". What did that mean? He died for me?

Now I needed a simple understanding, as all I had was the quietness of my living room and a Bible. Okay, I realized I had a sin problem. I was a sinner. How could I get rid of this? I was like a bad child, the prodigal son. I needed to be punished. I needed a spanking! The thought of meeting God and being punished terrified me. Then the Spirit of God took over. I needed a spanking. I thought of the cross and it hit me! The Lord Jesus took my spanking for me. If He took my spanking for me, then I didn’t need to be spanked. I started picturing the cross in my mind, repeating to my self "He took my spanking". It sounds silly, but it was the only way I could understand it. In my mind, as I was going up the cross, I pictured His feet with the nails in them. I stopped. It was there that I understood finally "why Jesus died on the cross". He died for me. The new birth was quiet and soothing, and for the first time in years, I had peace in my heart - peace with God. A thrill came over me as I realized I wasn’t scared to meet Him because the Lord Jesus died for me! I never heard the phrases "Born Again" or "saved", but I was just that! In the spirit of repentance, I was ready to do whatever it took to have peace with God and what I discovered is that He already did it all. How I praise Him today and still pray that I never get "used" to this wonderful forgiveness.

Shortly after this (2 days later) my wife Georgina fell at the foot of our bed telling me she too wanted this peace that I told her about. I found out later that although she was an atheist, she always wanted to believe that there was a God and that He cared about her. That night, she prayed the simple prayer of faith and received the Lord Jesus Christ as her own Saviour. What a change in our hearts! Here we were, baby Christians, and we needed desperately to be fed. Our all knowing and caring God was making arrangements to take care of this. Not too long afterward, we were posted to Gagetown, New Brunswick outside of Fredericton. When we came east again, I looked up my cousin Bruce to tell him the news. We went to his assembly in Halifax and were confounded by the love and knowledge of the Bible. Bruce asked us if we would like to go to a "place" like that in Fredericton, to which we replied, "YES!" He said he would have a man named George Heidman contact us. So back to Fredericton we went and awaited the call.

Shortly afterwards, the phone rang and the strong voice on the other end of the phone identified himself as George Heidman, and he wanted to come and visit us. I agreed and said to Georgina that we were going to get a visit, and from the sound of the guy, he was going to be a big man. George came to our house a little later and although he was not what I expected in size, he was every bit as big a man when it came to love and concern. Soon with Godly love and a lot of patience he was discipling us in God’s Word, helping us to realize what had actually happened to us and showing us through God’s Word the beauties of Christ and of gathering in His name.

This is my testimony of how God reached me and washed me in his blood to save me from Hell so that I can look forward to spending eternity praising Him. As the years have gone on and I have seen others go on such as Burton, Mr Adsett, and 5 year old Davie McQuinn and many others who are now in a real place called Heaven,. I realize that nothing in this world matters more than knowing for sure a person has peace with God, especially so since he has done everything possible for us, in sending His Son to die for us so we can have this peace. Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Doug Spidell

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