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Steve McMurray
Cedar Falls, Iowa,
U.S.A.
Saved: October 7, 1982
My Conversion
Several years ago, I
worked as a volunteer in a third world country where I learned
much about third world problems of poverty and prejudice.
Especially enlightening to me was learning what it was to be in a
despised minority -- cursed at, ridiculed, spat upon and sneered
at because of my race and nationality. I found myself unable to
rise above my growing cynicism and contempt for the people that I
had purposed to help. This was all very disturbing to me.
I am an adopted child, raised by loving and moral parents, taught
a form of godliness though I never really knew the power of God’s
Word. I trusted that sincerity and compassion for others would
win God’s favor and when I sinned I could go to the priest for
confession and forgiveness. Baptized, confirmed, serving as an
acolyte all made me feel that my life was better than many. I did
not know that, "By grace are ye saved through faith and that
NOT OF YOURSELVES, it is the gift of God, NOT OF WORKS, lest any
should boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)
It seemed that a concern for others and acceptance of their
beliefs was all that was necessary to make me a good person.
Again, I did not know God’s Word declared, "There is NONE
RIGHTEOUS, no, not one, they are all gone out of the way. There
is NONE GOOD, no, not one." (Romans 3:10,12)
I believed that we are all God’s children and that as along as I
was sincere, that was all that mattered to God. To my mind, Jesus
Christ was only one of many prophets and spiritual teachers, not
the ONLY BEGOTTEN SON OF GOD. Yet, the Bible says that it is
only; "As many as received Him, to them gave He the authority
to be called the children of God, even them that believe on His
name." (John 1:12)
A result of my cynicism was to increase my use of drugs and
alcohol in order to escape the sense of guilt I had for my
feelings of contempt. I lived more and more for ‘the good life’
with rum and parties. This ‘good life’ was suddenly interrupted
when I was called home to be with my father who had been
diagnosed with terminal cancer.
As I watched my dad
struggle with his pain and impending death, I began to think of
my own soul’s destiny. I wondered, if I was my dying, where would
my should be going? This too, was very disturbing to me.
Several months after my fathers’ death, I returned overseas to my
work and party life, only this time I brought a Bible back with
me and I began to read it regularly. One night, I was impressed
with a passage in the book of Romans ch. 7. In verse 1, the
apostle Paul wrote, "For I know that in me, (that is, in my
flesh) dwells no good thing: for to will is present with me; but
how to perform that which is good, I find not."
I circled the passage and wrote in the margin, ‘that’s me’. No
sooner had I done this than a friend knocked on my door and asked
me to go to the rum shops. I closed my Bible and went with him.
We ended up, as usual, in a place aptly named ‘the graveyard
disco’ (for only the dead danced there). It sat on the side of
hill above a small cemetery containing several unused and open
grave vaults.
Once inside the disco, we ordered more drinks and began dancing
with the women. By this time, I was quite drunk and very tired,
so I went out for some air. Passing down the long flight of
stairs with graves on either side of me, I reached the bottom and
stopped to catch my balance. I found myself staring into the
darkness of an open grave and at the dimly lit grave markers. I
wondered to myself, "What would happen to me if I fell in", Would
anybody find me?" Then a hauntingly familiar thought struck me,
"If I died, where would my soul be?"
Dear Reader, have you
ever asked yourself that same question?
The following day, the only thing clear in my mind was a sense of
hopelessness and futility. Suffering through the familiar rum
hangover, I asked myself why I keep doing this. Realizing that I
was alone and without God, I got down on my knees and asked the
Lord what I should do and where I should go. Nothing happened
except the name of another volunteer came to mind. I heard that
he had ‘gotten religion’ some months before, but I rarely saw him
since he lived in the south of the country.
It was astonishing to me that I met him downtown the very next
day. He told me that he had been transferred up to the north of
the island, so I invited him to dinner on several occasions.
During our visits, he told me how the Lord had saved him. He also
told me about his ASSURANCE OF SALVATION, which I was very
sceptical of. Still, I noted a marked change in his demeanour
from the embittered man that I had known him to be before.
Eventually, he
invited me to some gospel meeting being held in town and I went
with him. The preachers had never met me before and yet they
seemed to know my thoughts and my sin. On the night of October 7,
1982 I walked out of the gospel meeting thinking that what I was
hearing was the truth, but I really did not want to ‘get
religion’. Yet, I was convinced that God was speaking to me
through these men.
Well, I thought, I always believed that Jesus had died for the
sin of the world, but if God is speaking to me, personally, then
it must be true...Jesus really did die for me!
It WAS true! "...The
blood of Jesus Christ His (God’s) Son cleanses us (me) from ALL
sin" (1 John 1:7) It was certainly; "Not by works of
righteousness that I have done, but according to His mercy He
saved me..." (Titus 3:5)
I didn’t get
religion, I got the Lord Jesus Christ!
Though I disliked church singing, the following nights I joined
in the hymns with a happy heart as we sang:
At the cross, At the
cross, Where I first saw the light,
And the burden of my heart
rolled away,
It was there by faith, I received my sight,
And
now I am happy all the day.
Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. My prayer is
that you too may have joy in knowing your sins are forgiven with
the FULL ASSURANCE of eternal life. This is according to the
promise of God who cannot lie.
"Truly,
truly, I say unto you,
he that hears My Word and believes on
Him that sent me,
HAS everlasting life, and shall not come
into condemnation,
but is passed from death unto life."
(John 5:24)
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